Ooops where did my soul go?

It can be so easy to lose sight of the real us amidst the demands of work demands, the needs of others and our callings and passions. I found myself wondering, despite all the 'good stuff' I was doing, if I had lost my soul.

‘What good is it for someone to gain the whole world and yet lose their soul?’

Was the question Jesus asked. This has been narrowly applied to just about people and possessions but I think it could be legitimately asked of any enterprise or organisation the whole world over.

It is interesting to note that Jesus doesn’t say you shouldn’t be looking to gain, improve, add, contribute or do more. In fact I think the opposite is true, for whilst we are not meant to be greedy we are meant to do, to make, to add, to create and to gain.

The warning is not against gain, but against losing our soul.

The sense of this word ‘soul’ is that of the fullest expression of life. Jesus is saying in effect we could gain the world and lose our life. What a sad trade-off. But one I think I make all the time.

Instinctively I know that this is a great question to ask. I think I would even say that it is something that guides me. But if I am honest I am happier dealing with questions around ‘world’ than ‘soul’. I am more comfortable asking questions of what I am rather than who I am. More at home wrestling with what I have achieved rather than who I am becoming.

And it is no wonder I, and perhaps we, are like this. We live in a cultural milieu that demands more from us, achievement and accumulation are measures of success, numbers are everything and slowing down is for the weak.

To ask questions about whether I have lost my soul or not, in exchange for the world, requires a different response from the world.

If you re-read the statement from Jesus it makes you do exactly the thing Jesus wants:

‘What good is it for someone to gain the whole world and yet lose their soul?’ You cannot read that verse without slowing down, thinking, and then rethinking and then perhaps checking yourself.

I found myself asking these questions to try and measure how I viewed this verse:

- Do I measure my weeks by faithfulness (what I think God wants from me) or fruitfulness (what is the end product)?

- How often do I resist from work for a 24 hour period every week (Sabbath) as an act of resistance to show I care more about life than gaining?

- Why am I worried when I am not gaining?

- Do I intentionally take time to check my heart, my soul and my motivations for doing things?

- I am willing to slow down what I am doing, to invest in who I am becoming?

I don’t know what your responses were to those questions. But if you are like me you will be fighting the tendency to gain the world instead of tending to our soul.

You could use this prayer to guide you:

Father, forgive me for the times I have been in a rush to be and to do

Help me to sit and to be aware of you and what you want from me

Please allow me to view my contribution and worth through your eyes,

Instead of the eyes of the world and of my own heart.

I thank you that you care about what I do. But more than that you care about who I am.

Help me not to confuse the two as I look to love you.

Amen